Worst Birthday Ever!
by Punishment Prez
Summary: Mavado's birthday isn't what he'll expect. Who knew turning 23 would be this bad! Damn Movado! You're life sucks! Or does it? What's an assassin to do but relax until party time? Damned if I know!
1. Chapter 1: Suprise!

?!?: Welcome again...

Cage: The lair of doom!!! *dramatic music*

Sonya: Yeah, yeah, we already know. Aren't you getting bored yet?

?!? and Cage: No.

Cyrax: Oh what fresh new hell is this? Why God? WHY!!!

God: 'Cause something about you just pisses me off!

Raiden: Wow, he didn't even say that to me today.

Cage: Now for the story...

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**Chapter 1:** _Surprise!_

The organization of the Red Dragon was in an uncharacteristic tic mood. Well, people like tem must love Halloween. Especially Hsu Hao, who happened to be the manager of a strip club but that's for another story (literally).

Anyhoo, it was everyone's favorite assassin's birthday, but he himself was so busy, he didn't pay no attention. Let's see what's he doin' now.

"Kill this jerk, that $$hole, this other stupid c^nt. What is with this guy? Leon S. Kennedy? I killed him last week! Damn," let's say he needs a break. Can you believe the amount of paper on his desk, it's like he's an accountant!"

One of the newbies peeked in. "Enter," said the handsome man without even looking up. Of course he scared the crap out of him. "We-well, um, Mr. Hao sent this to you," He handed the elder a Hallmarks card. One of the adorable song ones.

His favorite song to strip from!

Let it burn

When the feeling ain't the same

And your body don't want to (But you know, gotta let it go)

Cause my body ain't

Jumpin' like it used to (Even though its my groove)

Let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you

Hate the thought of being with someone else

But you know that its over (You know that it's through)

Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn...

All of a sudden, the man just yelled out in anguish. Yeah, not like the 'owie-I-stubbed-my-toe kind', but the 'my-heart-literally-feels-broken kind'. He turned to the no name rookie. "Lyserg, tell anyone I yelled like that, and you die," He got up and walked past (apparently named) Lyserg, who was froze and shocked. Where the hell was he off to?

?

"So he was in pain or the 'owie-I-stubbed-my-toe pain'?" Hsu Hao was questioning the green-haired (i know) man. How was he to make money when his best stripper was depressed, cleary his feelings showed in his line of work. "I see, thank you Lyserg. You are dismissed." /Who would've thought I would get a job like this.../ Lyserg hurried away to other tasks.

"Boy Mavado, you really are a challenge, but little Hsu Hao know, his little idea will be quite a surprise." (Did he just narrate himself? 3rd person wtf!)

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?!?: Suprise, its Mavado; he has a special problem.

Sonya: Oh wow, such a hard guess, so which part was the suprise?

Cage: Ouch! Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

?!?: Actually I don't even know. So that's it for this chat.

Cage: Bye bye!

Sonya: Peace.


	2. Chapter 2: Three Hours Till

?!?: Onward! And this-a time, its good!

?!?: Finally, completely random people don't pop on here-Hurray!

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**Chapter 2:** _Three Hours Till..._

*&*

Mavado couldn't believe what he just did. /_ZOMG! I can't believe I walked out on my work,_ _AND yelled like that! Damn.../_ And then again he didn't cared. But still, he couldn't let his personal life twist into his work. He had clients!

So, the only solution he could think of was call in to Hsu Hao. Don't ask me, but yes, he had a cell phone. Metro to be exact(lol).

"Hey Hsu," Mavado greeted gloomily.

"Hey Mr. Twenty-three! What happened, I heard you walked out. Personal problem?" Wow, Hsu was a good boss.

"I guess you can say that," Mavado didn't want to make excuses. "Listen, I'm coming back right now-"

"Get some rest, you need it. Working so much doesn't help." Mavado didn't want to be a charity case. But if Hsu insisted.

"But please. Let me pick you up at 5:00. We have something important to do." Ahh, three hours of relaxation.

"Yes sir, are you sure I don't have to come earlier, because I-"

"No no nuthin'! You need rest. Okay, see ya then buddy!"

Mavado looked around the busy city environment. Maybe he could use a break.

"Oh what the hell!" And the man jumped into his red Chrysler and drove off to his modern home.

?

Now Mavado was thinking happy thoughts. Since it was his birthday, he could give the kids near his home a little party. As he reached his driveway, it seemed his plans were about to alter. Yeah, he has a soft spot for the kids.

"But where the hell is everyone, its 2:30!" Surely the kids were to be outside by now. "Oh well," Mavado felt emptier than before. Inside (yaya! his house is dark green!) he plopped on his black leathery sofa; most of his furniture was black anyways so...

/Great, I'm here, now I don't have anything to do.../

"Looks like he's finally reached home." How about that, an assassin for an assassin.

"Guess today's gonna be the day. I'll finally," The MYSTERY ASSASSIN just leapt from his hiding place in the trees.

Suddenly, Mavado just realized what could make him feel better! Listening to music during a shower. But he had to be careful, there were a lot- A LOT of peeping toms and Rapeman Johnnies (no offense Johnny Cage) and Rapeman Jennies out there.

Yes, he was with a black shower curtain, towel, black Axe can, everything. If he was a Red Dragon, why did he have so much of black?

"I'm not answering that," Mavado said while jumping into his shower (Damn! I didn't see anything!). That is, before turning on one of his favorite CDs...

_/Man, it is too easy breaking into houses nowadays, people just leave their doors open, /_ the rogue laughed to himself. Then tripped over the sofa. Its' not like he hadn't been in here before, but something made him feel uneasy this time. All of the other times, his prey wasn't here, but now...

_/No matter what, I've got to finish-/_ He froze like a deer caught in some headlights. The prey was talking to someone...?

_/There's no one else here.../ _He started creeping again, on to stop. There was a song on, a man singing about... A perfect love, and how it goes wrong, and bended knee? What the hell man?!

Mavado was definitely vibin' now, much so that he didn't hear the faint sounds of his door opening, or a man talking to himself. Not to say that he was completely cheered up, quite the opposite. He always did listen to sad songs...

_So many nights I dream of you_

_Holding my pillow tight_

_I know, that I don't need to be alone_

_When I open up my eyes_

_To face reality_

_Every moment without you_

_It seems like eternity_

_I'm begging you, begging you come back to me..._

Mavado wasn't able to hear the last words, only his own muffled cries of struggling as he descended into darkness...

"Cute," the conscious assassin said. And walked out dragging his prey behind him.

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Sorry, we can't have our quickie today.

But definitely after this chapter.

P.S- Had to take Johnny to hospital. I don't think Sonya likes him...


	3. Chapter 3: Two Hours, Thirty Minutes!

_**Raiden:**_ Hi, I'm Raiden and I love cherry pie. It is my addiction.

_**Ryu:**_ My name is Ryu and sweet delicious cherry pie has ruined my life.

_**Jax:**_ Now that you have realized your problem, we will be able to help you.

_**?!?:**_ One day at a time my friends, one day at a time...

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_**Two Hours, 30 Minutes!**_

Mavado roused awake, his head was killing him of course. Yours would too if it nearly got split with a baseball bat. Seriously, what assassin uses a baseball bat.

He could barely see his surroundings, but he immediately knew he was in a big moving van tied to a chair. Now how the chair wasn't sliding was unbeknownst to him.

"Uhghh, damn!" Boy could he use an Advil.

"Hey buddy, here you go, it's an Advil, sorry about the whole knocking you out thing." Wow, that was nice after being nearly killed! Mavado recognized that voice! "Lyserg, what the hell!" Lyserg almost spilled the bottle of water in his hand.

"Yeah, it's a long story, but I made a mistake. I mean I was tired of being some no-named punk. So now I gets special missions-Hurray!" How very nice. "I suppose you want to know what does this have to do with you. Let's just say a very close person requested to be with you. This is one crazy Friday ne?" Mavado froze. "Who in the hell would request me like this except..." he got the thought out of his head. "Lyserg, you really are silly you know,"

"Sorry sir, but Mr. Hao also requested that you see this person by force, or he will send you to Shady Pines for a week." The veteran stripper/assassin thought for a moment. Then his eyes clouded. "I don't care anymore! He's a jackass! I just feel so..." The 230year-old couldn't even finish his sentence. Lyserg felt awful! Looking at a cold-hearted assassin weep is awful.

"Sir, are you alright. I'm really sorry! I didn't really want to but," he rubbed a brown hand over his forehead. "Its just he said you really needed it." The giant mystery van came to a stop. "Looks like we are here, I am ordered to leave know, but I'll see you soon..." Mavado was quiet, his head hanging down while his tears hit the floor. "Hey Lyserg,"

"Yes sir?"

"I'll be taking that Advil now..."

"Ye-yes sir!"

**? **

A pair of Black Dragon thugs appeared before the open van. I'm not wasting my time describing them neither. The taller of the two jumped in first, his wild vermillion hair flying over his face. "'Ey! Wake up b*tch! Time to go see your daddy!" He turned to high-five the other blue-haired cronies, after which, they busted out laughing. Well this isn't an honor, now is it?

"If you're going to take me to that $$hole, just get it over with," He looked up to their amazement. "I'll just kill you two later," he almost whispered. Once they saw his face, they apologized a million times while cutting the ropes that secured him.

There you are sir! We're very sorry sir! It won't happen again!

Mavado heard none of it, he just stormed past them and out of the big van titled 'Midway'. How creep is that?

"If you wanted me this much..." He walked to the entrance. The two bums from earlier tried to open it for him but he pushed them away. Never get Mavado angry, because he basically ...Killed the door. A hard metal door at that.

_/Where the hell is he?/_ Mavado scanned around angrily. /_Come to think of it, this place looks, grand...How come they have a Slurpee machine?/_

Off to his far right, there was a flight of stairs with mahogany carpeting with a pattern of graceful flowers. "Well if I were an asshole, I'd be in some arrogant room up there, correct?" He turned swiftly to the two jerks that were following behind him cautiously. "Ye-yeah....Uh third door on the right it's before you get to the next corridor sir," groveled the cotton candy blue guard.

"Hmm, perfect," Mavado sighed as he fingered the hidden switch blade under his pants.

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_**?!?:**_ Uh-oh, someone's gonna get screwed!

_**Kano:**_ Literally AND figuratively heh heh!

_**?!?:**_ O.o

_**Kano:**_ ;)

_**?!?:**_ ...OoO

Kano: ;DDD

?!?: Anyways, yeah.


	4. Chapter 4: Well well well!

**?!?:** Mu...

**Lyserg:** What's wrong with you?

**?!?: **School is starting next week.

**Mavado:** I thought you like that thing called 'Skool'?

**Lyserg:** She never went to a regular high school!

**?!?:** I'm right here you know!

**Mavado:** Whoops! Hey, you might go to a program this year again eh?

**?!?:** Keep talking, and I'll make you an UKE!!! RAWR!!

**Lyserg:** Sucks to be u Boss sir!

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**Chapter 4:** _Well well well!_

Mavado found the room alright, and whoever was on the other side knew it instantly because his entire foot broke through where the doorknob once was. He smashed open what was left of the door.

"There you are. Looks like you're getting pretty rusty; I didn't think it would've took you that long." The beholder of that snide comment was none other than the great asshole Kano.

Mavado swiftly (about three steps) had a knife to the man's throat in the grand chair he sat. It was then the assassin took notice that...The room looked too comfortable for any soldier that worked for the Black Dragon. He brushed the thought out of his head.

"Well, aren't you as well? Shouldn't you be chasing after a certain blonde human in Earth realm?" The sly smirk that was on his face before vanished. Kano looked genuinely hurt, but it could have been a well acted trick. Sonya had totally kicked his ass, but Mavado noticed that her lock of hair that Kanohad managed to rip was no longer clinging to a necklace on his chest.

Nor was a shirt. (^^)

"Kano still had his head hung; the assassin couldn't believe he felt sorry for him. Not after...

"Why did you...Leave me?" the man asked his enemy bluntly, but softly. "Why didn't you kill me, Kano? Am I not a challenge to you, like that Blade woman?" He too began to find the door rather interesting to look at. And then the rest of the room. An elegant bed with white silk covers. Dressers and such. He couldn't imagine it as the cruel man's room.

"Well, what the hell would you have done if you were about to kill your worst enemy, but you fell in love some way, and you make love to him?" Mavado tried to interrupt. "Not finished. AND, that person probably still hated you? Don't you realize how confusing that is to me, a seemingly straight guy?"

Now Mavado didn't have a comment; how could he? /He said 'fell in love'? / "How could I possibly help you now? Let's just pretend this never happened." Kano, even the disfigured metal side of his face, seemed crushed with the own weight of its hope it had earlier. He rose from his seat; Mavado backed up but still had his knife ready in position.

That didn't change the fact Kano was still trying to come closer. "Mauve put it down...Please." "Don't EVER!" Swipe. Luckily, Kano sidestepped in time, with only a scratch from his collar bone, to the top of his chest. The diagonal cut seeped red. "Tell me about love! You know nothing of it!" He tried to turn, but the next man was a master at grappling. Within seconds he was trapped with both hands behind his back, and a cheek to a soft maroon rug.

"Then how did I come to know you! Explain why you slept with me then!" Kano demanded in a low tone. He tightened his hold, which he knew regularly Mavado could have escaped from. "Because I wanted to! You were cheap anyway!" Kano winced at the comment despite the blood from his cut that was bleeding onto the back of the man he loved.

"Like I said, you're getting rusty!" Kano even chuckled. "The hell is you talking about! Get OFF," He squirmed but half-heartedly. "I mean, that I know you are lying. How else do you think I got you here? It obviously wasn't by me alone." If being sent home wasn't suspicious enough... Mavado fell silent.

"Then I have no choice," he turned over on his back, looking up expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well... I had a present for you, but for now, its three wishes." For the first time, they shared a true smile, not a smirk of a toothy glare, a real warm smile.

"I'd wish you'd get off me!" The Black Dragon was *magically* straddled on the other man's waist. "Oh, yeah, my bad ;D !" He instead, plopped on the floor alongside him. He amazingly pulled off a cute pout. "Then now what? You used up a wish!"

Mavado gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "How's that for now? And you said you had another present?" Believe it or not Kano was shy. "Well, just now, it turned into two. But I'll give the old one to you first!" "What could it be?"

"I had a little help, but the choice was mine, and it's at your house."

_*look*_

"It's a thing! No joke!"

"Say it's not in your pants!"

"Uhh, it's not!"He still looked suspicious.

"Well, well, well! Look who's talking!" Mavado stood up and held a hand to assist his new love. "What do you mean birthday boy?"

"Looks like you're the one who's gotten rusty."

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**?!?:** Aww, friends so fast! See, all they needed was a little push!

**Lyserg:** Or a kidnapping.

**?!?:** Drastic measures are always used in Kombat!

**Lyserg:** Teach me!!!

**?!?:** Did you get a raise for doing that to Mavado?

**Lyserg:** Hell yeah!


	5. Chapter 5:Present 1!

?!?: Heheh! I finally get to update! Nya nay!

Mavado: Children should attain for a perfect attendance in school!

?!?: Mass murder say what?

Kano: Yes, instead of looking at pron, they should have a plan for school. Success is the key!

Hsu Hao and Lyserg: Because knowledge is power!

?!?: _**Excused Absence no Jutsu!**_

Mavado: Damn! It didn't work. I told you she wouldn't by it!

Hsu Hao: Worth trying, you can't catch a crack head!

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**Chapter 5:** _Present- # 1!_

So much has haooened in less than half a day, but it was awesome! But Mavado was a man who insisted on having facts.

"Why...and what, the hell are ...Friscods doing on my leather couch? What are they?" Mavado was upset with the color full earth colored pebbles was on his priszed furniture. Kano tried not to laugh (which made it worse). "No, no no. They are called 'Friskies' and it's part off the present!"

"What is this... Pork-cow!" Kano sighed, everyone thought he was the thick one, but they never spent as much time with Mavado.

"Meow...mrilk?" there was a soft noise that sounded like a question particle coming from behind Mavado. His senses coming to him, he sprung out his trusty blade, and turned around in a flash. "YAAAARGH! ...?...Nani?!"

There was a creature on the floor, it had to be some excotic beast! "Watch out Kano! It has made a nest, whatever it is, it looks dangerous!" He heroicly jumped in theline of fire!

Kano just hugged his shoulders /You poor confused man.../. "Calm down, that is your present. In Earthrealm, they call it a kitten. She's not dangerous." Mavado relaxed since Kano was obviously at ease.

The kitty mewed again, wondering what the heck was wrong with buddy. Kano bent to pick her up. "I belive she is called a 'mixed bag'. Then some word called, oh yes! A 'collie, I don't know much, do you like her?" The kitten was a blondish-orange with faint stripes. Her eyes were primarily blue, but hints of green and brown were at the edges of her pupils.

The top of her right ear was cut, Mavado noticed, but she was very cute. "Aww, a kitten? A name you shall have! Hmmmm, what's an Earthrealm name?" Mavado thought seriously. "I know!" He lifted her into his arms from Kano. "Darien! Or, or Jackson!" Those were male names, but Kano didn't mention it.

"NO! Hmmmm, Prince sounds perfect!"

"Mew! XD"

"Aww :3!"

Kano was relieved, because he really didn't know where else to keep the abandoned kitten he had found. He just made up names he heard about Earth creatures. /In a way, she's just like me. Maybe they abandoned her because of how she looked?/ The thought before had depressed him, but Mavado's reaction truly cheered him up; he was probably loved too.

After dancing for a few minutes in oblivion, Mavado sat down with Prince and Kano on the sofa. "See Mauve, Friskies are food for kittens. And it has flavors and stuff, I'll let you read the box later." They both watched Prince eat adorably.

"Damn! We have to get ready soon, don't we. I completely forgot about work!" Mavado rushed up in a hurry. He was pulled back to the couch. "Chill, chill. It's barely time, let's have Prince eat out here for now, and I'll get you out of those clothes..." / (insert thought and evil perv. laugh)/

"As a matter of fact," he moved closer. "Who says we have to go to your room?"

And unsurprisingly...

_*zip*_

"Uhhh, Kano...?!"

"Lost for words aren't you? I'll be gentle...."

"No I mean-"

Unfortunately (mainly for Kano, slightly Mavado), as you can guess, Prince had noticed the strange moving prey-like "object" from Kano's pants, and without him noticing, pounced upon it.

"...Gahhhh! **NOOOOO**! Get the-hell-_ohhhh_!" Kano couldn't even curse the kitten anymore. "Wahhh (said wailing face: ~TOT~)! Whyy God why!" Kano cried after the mishap. It's like some unimaginable force was stopping him from the release he wanted with Mavado. C'mon, of all things, the cat? The only punishment game she got was to sit in a corner, licking her fur by the T.V.

"Agg...Um, I guess I'll go dress," Mavado said awkwardly after soothing the man. "Prince didn't mean it, she must have been confused."Kano rejected that childishly. "Nyeh! Can you at least change out here to make me feel better?"

"... I'm hard to get you know."

"And who are you telling?"

Mavado went off to his room, and so sorry for Kano, he was bot coming in his "birthday suit". So all he could do was imagine the little beauty mole that existed above the man's belly button, right on top of one of his abs to the left/ It had seemed like such a short time ago when he noyticed it so fleetingly, but the next time, he'll pay extra attention!

"Prince is going to attack you again."

"Huh! Oh, erh, ihihihi!" The mercenary looked like a total perv-o, for the fact it seemed his hand 'wandered to a certain point.

"Hey! I can't help it if you're a **Crotch Rocket**_(CC_)!" Kano desperately switched to seem it was Mavado's fault.

"... Where do you get this stuff from?" But he already knew it had to be from Earth realm. /Hmmm? / Kano was confused since Mavado was known for overdressing. He had on a large tan trench coat. "Mavado? Buddy, why do you have on an Inspector Gadget looking coat," Kano attempted to ask without laughing but failed.

"You shall see. Now go-go Gadget yo ass in the car, it's time to hustle."

"Ohh, I like it rough. *keheheheha!*"

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_?!?: _Kano, what else is under Mavado's coat?

_Kano:_ Welll... For a high price...

_?!?:_ Tch, mercenaries!

_Inspector Gadget:_ You are the culprit!!!! What do you want from MEEHH!

_Kano:_ The f^ck?!! I thought he was just a quick reference?

_?!?: _I did too... Let's just go with the flow. Ahem, yes, I am that dark ominous claw man who you speak of. Who oddly never show his face!

_Insp. Gadget_: Really!? What do you want with my niece Penny?

_?!?:_ ...To deflower her, but she was not a virgin, so I let her go. But I will do something next time!

_Insp. Gadget:_ She wasn't? Oh, what will it take for you to leave us in peace!?

_Kano:_ What a louse! Is he on acid?

?!?: _*stomps on Kano's foot*_

_?!?_: I'll keep you in my lair until I decide... You can go ahead and chill.

Insp. Gadget: Oh...*plops on bed* Yeah, so what's the deal with ur claw thingies?

Kano: Oh Lord....


	6. Chapter 6: Back To Work

?!?: I just can't believe I got to update, how long has it been?!

Lyserg: Not long at all, just six years...

***Kano jumps from the ceiling and smacks ?!? out of nowhere***

?!?: THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?

Kano: Where yo ass been at!? I'll kill joo! ***commences to kill***

Insp. Gadget: Now, now, let's be pragmatic here people, nobody's at fault here.

***Mavado walks in***

Mavado: (drinkin a Slurpee) Yeah, nobody's at fault...

Kano: It feels like I'm taking Crazy Pills! (Only $1.00!)

**Chapter 6:** Back to Work

Kano was the one to decide that Prince should come with them, despite the accident earlier. "She has good taste in toys," he added slyly, "Just like her master." Mavado always got angry when he blushed, so when he tried to hide it, the redness was even more conspicuous. "Screw you!" "That can be arranged, but nooo. You want to go back to work!"

They argued all the way to the car, with Prince squirming in tote. Mavado started up his ride, and the trio headed to Mavado's lair. By the time they got to the first stoplight, Mavado had already created a new torture technique for his understudy. Kano waved his hand in fron t of the other amn's face, and called a wolf whistle. "You was zoned out for the last two minutes. Are you thinking too hard again?"

"Huh?" Mavado looked into Kano's eyes. "Oh, yeah, I was thinking what to do for the kids on my street tonight..." Kano looked confused. "He told me that, he was going to hold something for all of your friends after school, AND he was supposed to pick you up, not drive there an hour early!" "Why don't people tell me these things!" Mavado hit the steering wheel. "But Mauve, you wasn't thinking about that anyway..."

"How the he-" It's as though Kano's red eye could read his mind! Mavado shut up for a second. Still grinning, Kano gestured to the light. "Don't want to disturb traffic do we? We could always go back to your place..."

"OR, I could drop you off, and go back to work!" Kano considered this.

"I like the sounds of that... I need to get back to work too,"

Mavado gave a dejected look...

O.o

The rest of the ride was clouded in silence, but Kano still had a mischievous smirk on his face, like when they were fighting, he would find an open spot. Mavado rolled to a stop in front of the elaborate mansion. Kano was petting Prince good-bye, whom was enjoying it thoroughly. Mavado was staring down at the steering wheel, gripping it tightly.

"Bye Prince, take care of your owner!"

"Mreow! ('Kay!)"

"See you later Mauve," Kano waved as he was about to step out of the car.

"..."

"Uhh, have a nice day at work!"

"............"

Kano knelt back inside, and loosened Mavado's death grip on the wheel, kissing his right hand slowly. "I love you," he whispered seriously, and left out again, slowly releasing the man's hand. He closed the door, and didn't turn his back until Mavado drove off.

_3 minutes later..._

"AAARGH! Get off of meeh!" **fighting sounds of punching and thrown bodies*** That was in fact two crazy haired Black Dragon getting their $$es handed to them! "KANO! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOME BODY BAGS IN A MINUTE!!!!"

Everyone of the Dragons present slipped of like lizards; no way in a happy hell were they getting in his way! Mavado remembered the way to the man's room, following him there was a man on each leg, and Prince balancing on his shoulder (although he could have ***sworn*** he closed the windows with her inside).

Kano's door was still open, after all, it could not close because it was smashed off its hinges. Kano was quietly reading a novel on his bed, his backed turned against the door as if a madman wasn't nowhere in his world. All activity ceased by this time, the cotton-candy haired guard stopped struggling, Mavado stopped cursing, but Prince was the only thing that moved. She gracefully jumped off of (not sure when she got up there) the blue-haired croonie's head, and onto Kano's bed.

"Mew...(Hey...)"

Kano felt the brush of her bushy tail, and promptly turned over and petted her. "How did you get in here beautiful?" The three men at the door fell over on their backs.

"Kano? Well hello!" Mavado said impatiently.

"There is no logical way that you can be Mavado. When that asshole says he's going to work, he means it. So who the hell are you!?" He still rubbed on the kitten's chin lovingly. Usually, when he says something, there is no real response. Seeing a battle in it's premise, the two idiot guards left. "Dammit, I am Mavado! And work isn't everything!" He urgently went to Kano's bedside and swiped the book away from him; Kano's arm was in the process of turning a page.

"I was reading that! McMurphy was in the process of getting the Big Nurse!" He laid flat on his back as Prince went to go exploring. "Prove you are Mauve then... Or leave...". After stretching, he got up to retrieve his thrown book. Mavado swiftly blocked him. He looked into the retarded man's eyes, because, dammit, he really didn't have a move left in his repertoire.

"In all my years..." Kano whispered. "I've never loved someone, at least, truly loved someone, until the point where I didn't kill them when they raided my lair like this."He paused and stared at his lover. "Mauve, you're really-" he used his grapple skills to reel Mavado close to him by the arm. "Fun to tease," when he gave his little chuckle, Mavado knew he was tricked. "Hey! Dammit, don't play!" Mavado pouted and Kano laughed harder. "Consider it a birthday lick. I mean after all, I knew you wasn't going to work! And you really though I was mad, you should have saw the look on your face in the car," he calmed down for a little bit. "But I mean what I say, and I say what I mean, Mavado..." "And what could that be, only an $$hole could know," Mavado asked begrudgingly.

"I love you." Their faces were only a hair width's apart. One would always imagine Kano would have the odor of pure blood with a hint of dead fear, but his aroma was an uplifting spice, victory even-

"Ah, stop cuddling me so hard, it's weird!" Mavado was nuzzling in the man's strong, hairy chest that he showed so freely. "Oh really? Then as my second wish, you must allow me to." /DON'T RIP HIS CLOTHES OFF!/ "Yeah whatever," Kano sighed. He propped up on the bed, leaving room to accept his torture. "Granted," Kano sighed. Mavado eagerly kicked off his shoes and fan-girlishly clung to his body.

"Hey Kano, you're fun to tease too." and it was Mavado's turn to laugh.

"Whatever." /Sexy Bastard.../

~/*/*/*/*/*/~

"Hao, sir. Weren't you supposed to have picked up Master Mavado?" Hsu Hao looked over at Lyserg, who had a natural endowment of popping out of nowhere. "Huh, oh yeah. He's fine, he wasn't going to come in anyway, I'll predict he'll arrive much later." He stuck his tongue out happily. /Okay... Master Hao is a weird one.../. "I don't understand, but it's not a problem. What are we going to do with all of his little friends though?"

The Red Dragon affiliates were surrounded by the kids Mavado had affection for, and of course, even evil people don't stand a chance against hungry kids. Lyserg and his co-workers were effectively out of place, in this cunny green terrain of the nearby park. "Yeah, we look like total Chester the Molesters..." Hsu concurred. Then, his light bulb that hadn't been used for ages lit up brilliantly!

"Let's order some Goddamn Pizza!"

?!?: Aww, I wanna snuggle with Kano! :( ***Jealous Glare HO!***

Kano: I HATE snuggling! Arrgh, what's the big deal with it any way?!

Insp. Gadget: Awww, he likes him! :3

Kano: Shut up! You good for nothing bastard!

?!?: He's so cu~te when he's angry!

Mavado: I know! ***snuggles the man out of nowhere***

Kano: Kuuuuu...


	7. Chapter 7: The Part When They Do 'It'

Kano: This entire story is *_so_* bipolar!

?!?: How so mademoiselle?

Kano: Well first we got into this big fight-*_thinks for a moment_*-**HEY!**

?!?: Oui?

Kano: I don't know what that means, stop calling me that !

?!?: D'accord! (Okay!)

Kano: **WHAT DID I **_**JUST **_**SAY!?**

?!?: I was writing this in science class…

Insp. Gadget: So why are you speaking French?

Mavado: Some things are better left unasked…

**Chapter 7: **_The Part When They Do It_

Kano's chest was sore and red by now from Mavado's _**RUBBING**_; whilst the other man continued the crime obliviously. "Mauve, don't you think that's enough?" Kano pleaded. "Nope!" The Red Dragon answered and continued his tight-hold snuggle. Five minutes later, he slowed down, and breathed warmly into Kano's ear, "I have something for you too, love."

The Black Dragon was shocked! He had even prayed to the Thunder God Raiden for-

"Achoo! Oh, where did that come from?" Raiden used a handkerchief on his nose. "Bless you Raiden, someone must be thinking of you," Johnny told the god. "What has the world come to," Raiden pulled on his ancient hair in disbelief. "A mortal blessing a god!"

"Mauve," Kano growled with lust as Mavado circled a finger around his sensitive nipple. He almost had a hold on his breathing when his personal assassin began trailing strong, wet kisses onto his neck, slightly nibbling. (Mavado knew Kano wouldn't moan aloud without a fight…) The older man always found a way to hide away his face, Mavado remembered from last time, the first time. _///But not this time…///_

"Kano, look at me. Please," Kano had lost his balance on his elbows and laid on his pillow, blocking his face with his arm to cover his soft panting. Mavado gently removed the barricading arm and locked it above his head, along with his other arm _///You can't hide forever Kano...///_. The birthday boy straddled his new boyfriend's hips, looking him deeply in the eyes. [_Whoops, I meant eye ^_^_]. "Won't you look at me? You did this last time because I'm a guy?" Mavado was sure Kano was used to philandering around with women.

"Why would you think that?" Kano asked uncharacteristically shy. "If you want to know, it's because I don't want you to see my face," he tried to turn his right so only the left showed. "I didn't mean to hurt you the last time. Even I'm afraid of something, I didn't trust you to love me, for being myself. How can anyone really be attracted to me?" Kano truly had a look of unadulterated sadness. "Mauve, you really like me, and not just.... Toying with me? I just don't know..." *_**PINCH**_* "Ouch! The hell was that for?" "That's for the Great Kano calling himself worthless! And what do you mean you're not attractive?!" Mavado's hand that was securing Kano's right one, swiftly lead the other's underneath his own trench coat to grope his pulsing erection.

*_Tumbleweed passes by on the floor_*

"Sooo... You weren't wearing anything this entire time, were you?" Kano asked in wonderment. "Of course, after all, I wasn't planning on going to work! And you thought you had me fooled..." Now Kano was really shocked."Hey Mauve, in that case, you won't need to be sitting upright for a while..." *_wink_* The man was back to his old self.

"No fair! Kano, I wanna be on top-" *_Flip_* ///_Aikido always comes in handy...///. _Using his signature skills, Mavado was on his back before he had a chance to argue any further. "If I didn't love you..." Mavado wasn't complaining though."Mauve..." Kano was pressing himself hard in between his lover's legs, with deep longing. Mavado caressed the man above him lovingly on his metal side, silently pleading to be kissed. "What is it," he asked.

_"Thank you..."_

-----------

"Mavado! And Mr. Kano, I haven't seen you in ages, welcome!" Hsu Hao greeted them gleefully; he was in the middle of a wrestling match with two of the many children, Kabal and Kira. "Hao, I saw you last week at the store…" Oh yeah..." Hao began to remember.

Mavado cleared his throat. "Hsu Hao, why didn't you initially tell me you were coming...To a park?" Mavado was slightly limping towards the man lying on the ground; the children greeted Mavado enthusiastically."Mr. Mauve! Hi Mr. Kano!" They ran to hug the both of them while Mavado wondered how they knew Kano. At least the kid's were having fun.

Earlier, Mavado and Kano had driven to the Red Dragon's work place which had a note on the door:

_Went to celebrate at the local park, I knew you would come late Mavado! _

_-Hsu Hao ;D_

(Kano lol-ed at the emoticon, Mavado didn't really understand what it was supposed to be.

Not only had Hsu Hao planned this, but he was enjoying it with a passion! Once again, within minutes, Mauve had invented a new torture technique just for that man…)

"Do you want to meet everyone? All of your enemies have come to celebrate, and even Jax came to see me!" Now that was a miracle; Jax hated Hsu Hao.

"Mew! (Translation: Yay!)" A small noise came from behind them. On a nearby swing, Prince was looking on at the scene with content. The only problem was is they left her—at home! **"How did she get here!?"** Mauve and Kano asked each other in astonishment.

_**An hour earlier…**_

"Kiss me then Kano."

For the first time, the Black Dragon followed an order given to him and roughly delved his moist tongue into his awaiting lover's mouth. The two battled with lust and the only instruments of destruction rested between their lips. It was a littler gentler than their first time. Mavado proved a bit more adept. The man on top failed to suppress his moan with a growl as the one under nibbled his bottom lip seductively. He wanted to turn this thing around.

Kano was better with his hands. Despite of years in his crazy profession, he knew just where to tease. The man trailed a gloved finger down his long time enemy's special zone—just a little lower than his naval and not quite *there*. It was Mavado's turn to inhale sharply at the sudden touch; Kano's gloves always turned him on. He took his time to track his finger back up and trace the man's jawline; he could have been an artist.

But he was so damn violent.

Kano pulled out one of Mavado's combat knives from the left pocket, and without missing a blink; he expertly launched it through the 'door'. "Go away please," He commanded his employee who stood there watching in shock (and a generous nosebleed). The knife was lodged into the wall inches away from her pretty coffee-colored brain. "I won't miss next time," Kano finished in an uncharacteristically nice voice.

The poor fangirl ran off before the great parts started.

"We might as well start Mauve," Kano said regrettably. "Our foreplay has attracted fans."

"Right," Mavado agreed. He was just as shocked as the young girl who left, because Kano was never that good a shot. He reached to pull back the covers, but the Black Dragon stopped him. "I don't think so," the man stated. "All this time, and you want to cover your body from me?" He [sexily I might add] pushed the man back onto the bed, and in a flurry, stripped Mavado of any remaining clothes.

"Just as I imagined," he sighed. "A beautiful, flawless angel." The Red Dragon blushed madly.

He unclothed himself and never took his eyes from his lover's. [Kano knew it turned him on ^_^] All except for his gloves which remained on only because Mavado requested. "Oh yeah," He said as though he forgot something. The man searched through his pants' pockets and whipped out… a suspicious container. "You know I expected a condom," Mauve said awkwardly. The Black Dragon sucked his teeth. "Tch, you haven't been with anyone, and I haven't been with anyone." Kano said with certainty. _///Bastard… How the hell does he know this stuff?!?///._ "I won't disappoint you baby, I promise," Kano told the man. "_Karma Sutra Oil _will never disappoint you; that's for sure!" [This sounds like an advertisement sale gone postal] Before Mavado could ask what type of Earthrealm substance was in the little bottle, Kano forced his legs open.

"Kano I think we really should be under the sheets. What if—" Kano quieted him with a soft kiss. "I don't care what they see or hear; the only thing that matters to me right now is you." Kano trickled the oil over their extremely close erections and generously over Mavado's sexy abs. Mavado arched into the man's touch as he gently massaged the oils over his chest, and he could tell it was perfumed. They both gasped as Kano rubbed their hardened selves together. _///I dreamed we were even closer than this for months Mauve…///_. Kano couldn't remember wanting to kiss so badly, and drawing out his climax. Mavado never imagined it would be Kano to take him this far.

Kano held his middle and index finger to Mavado's lips. The Red Dragon gave a look like: '_What do you want me to do?_' Kano simply nodded and he granted entry. "Kano," Mavado's voice was muffled with the tips of his lover. "Why does this taste sweet?" Kano chuckled at Mavado's cuteness, and removed his fingers once they were coated. "It's Cherry flavored oil." ///_Now what is the purpose of that? Those Earthrealm humans are weird…/// _Kano saw the confused look on his lover's face and chuckled in Mavado's shoulder. Mavado wrapped his arms around the man; he had a strange 'taste' in items. "Mauve, relax for a second," Kano coached the man as he slowly slide his coated fingers further down the other's legs. "I don't want it to hurt." He whispered.

Mavado tried not to tense his body as Kano shifted the first finger inside. "That wasn't so bad," the birthday boy said. "Well, I was talking about the two fingers together Mauve," Kano stated. "Huh? _Ahh!_" Mavado threw his head onto the pillows when Kano inserted his middle finger and began to twist the two around. The sudden moan turned Kano on further, and he began to grind his hips into the man. "Mauve, calm down. You're not really ready for me yet are you?" He said it more for his own well being.

"Put yourself into me, Kano" and the man on top couldn't resist the look of his long-time enemy. He lifted up the man's thighs, opening him wider. He poured a good amount of oil into his hand and casted the bottle away to lather up his penis. "Mauve?" Kano was asking for permission to enter him.

The man nodded.

The two could barely control the volume of their moans. Every perverted fanboy and girl managed to walk by and see the two. (Some even managed to hide on the side of the doors but unbeknownst to them, Kano could see them. He also knew who they were for later!)

_They were almost there…. _

"Kano, push in me a little harder…" Mavado ordered a decibel below yelling.

Kano was just the same. "I'm almost there!" [Don't know why he said that.]

Mavado locked strong legs around Kano's back to pull him inside more. Kano pumped his lover's rock-hard penis in time to his pumping. The two Dragons came with loud, satisfied moans of pleasure.

"I love you Mavado," Kano whispered and kissed pretty brown eyes. He swept away a jet black hair from Mavado's face.

"I love you too." Mavado pulled Kano into a closer embrace.

"Let's do it again!" Kano said energized. "What the—Kano please! My ass hurts!!!" Mavado whined but there was no escape from Kano's Akido skills. "Come on Mauve, next time you'll be inside me all night long! So let's go again!" He had that sexy twinkle in his eye that most likely said: 'How can you resist the Great Kano?!' "Hold on a second," Kano (still stark naked) walked over to his pants on the floor and without warning, threw both of his Butterfly knives at the 'door'.

The two cronies that were with Mavado from earlier were in shock that they had been seen. Luckily, they had fast reflexes, because if not, they wouldn't have to worry about anything else.

"You up for one more quickie?" Kano asked with that twinkle still in his eye. "Why _not_?" Mavado told him.

:_cue of a giant sweat drop_: _**o_o'**_

_**Back at the park: regular time…**_

"I really didn't expect this many children and warriors to come; we're going to put the Goddamn Pizza business out of service," Hsu Hao commented to Kano as they watched the numerous amount of people play in the park' s pool. Even people like Sonya Blade, Johnny Cage, and Raiden had come, all to have fun! Mavado was chatting with Nitara about new stripping positions. "So what about you Hao? What's the forecast for your love life?" Kano truly wanted to know about this mystery manager that helped him so much.

Across the pool Jax looked a little bit at Hsu Hao. Then he turned his head back to a drink he had in hi hand and blushed a little bit. "I'm thinking about some brown sugar," Hsu Hao told Kano casually. "I'll see you in a bit; gotta order some more Goddamn Pizza!" Kano pulled on his shoulder to stop him. "Wait up Hsu! How about you relax and mingle, and I'll worry about the details. You deserve it!" Kano nodded his head knowingly.

"Uh, thanks Mr. Kano… Well, Kano!" He headed off to the other side of the pool. Prince meowed from somewhere nearby. Kano looked around until he saw her at the table to his right. "Good girl! Prince, go tell those damn Cotton Candy idiots of mine to order some more pizza," "Meow! (You got it!)" And she went off to do her duty.

"Kano, what are you doing over there by yourself?" Scorpion asked. "Are you planning another attack on Edenia? Come in the pool and play water Nuke 'Em ball with us!" Kitana laughed jokingly. Mavado was in the water and swam up to the edge. "You comin' in?" He waved and smiled. ///This is the best birthday of my life!///

Kano whipped off his clothes [He had on swimming trunks; don't worry!] and like one of his specials—

"_**KANNON BALL**_!" and he flew into the sunlight pool.

XDXDXDXDXDXDX

[Retarted Author's Note]

Hi Invisible readers out there! Yeah, I see you; I haven't taken my pills in a minute so I guess you're not really invisible. One day when I grow up, someone gonna like this story, AND they are gonna review! It might not be you. But your children. Or maybe your children's children. Or your children's children's pet rhinoceros named Harold. But today, yes today, that review button is there! What a wonderful button it is! So full of life and—

Kano: Shut the hell up! Story over so lay your burden down for a little okay!

Mavado: Stop your yaoi craze! It's a pain in my ass!!!

Inspector Gadget: **LOL!** Literally!

?!?: *_laughs hysterically_* It's been fun guys! I'm sure I'll see you again!

Hsu Hao: Come soon! (I love that retarted kid!)

?!?: Of course! *_walks out onto a road with a backpack as a piano plays the old Hulk TV show theme_*

Kano: *_throws a random lotion bottle_* And take that with you!

?!?: ALLRIGHT! I could put this to use! *_runs off into the sunset_*

Everyone else: **Retarded Kid!**

Prince: Mew! (The end. Good bye! :3)


End file.
